How much more of this Monday to Friday bullshit do you have to deal with until you give up and slap on those 6-inch stilettos? It’s hard to say just how much more you can take. Each terror of a customer is getting you closer and closer to signing up for an on-stage career. Maybe you were born to be a sexy firewoman.
Once you have gone through the proper risk-assessment process, you’ll realize just how much you have to gain (or lose) when you stop selling Avon and start selling your body.
The Pros of Quitting Your Job To Become A Stripper:
- You’ll get lots of attention. Regardless of how respectable your sense of self esteem is, it’s always nice to hear kind words of encouragement from strangers.
- You already know how to take your clothes off. You’ve been practicing for your entire life. You’re perfectly qualified for a successful career in stripping, after all, you do it a few times a day. Taking your clothes off is one of your most valuable, yet highly underrated skills. In fact, not becoming a stripper is a shameful waste of your stripping talents.
- You’re good at walking in heels. Learning to dance in them will be a cinch.
- You’ll get paid every night. So long, biweekly paycheck, and hello g-string-full-of-
- You’ll always have perfect change for the bus. You’ll never have to worry about breaking your 20′s again. All of your money will come in 1′s, so taking the bus, tipping waiters, and purchasing soda from vending machines will become much, much less of a hassle.
- Free drinks!
The Cons of Quitting Your Job To Become A Stripper:
- Mom’s going to be pissed. And just until your grandma hears about this.
- You don’t know how to pole dance. But that’s what on-the-job training is for, right?
- No health benefits. And forget about that 401K you’ve been dreaming of. Not going to happen.
- Bra money is taxable income. Counting all those ones and filling out all those tedious tax forms to lawfully account for your income is actually a very complicated and arduous process.
- Co-stripper drama is awful. Your new coworkers will most likely be very competitive and jealous of you when you inevitably get the most requests for private lap-dances. Co-strippers have been known to grease the pole when they come to hate the new girl. This phenomenon causes an average of 27 deaths in the United States alone.
- You’ll become less attractive. Studies have shown that strippers age at an accelerated rate, nearly triple that of ordinary people. It has also been proven that nearly 40% of strippers lose their two front teeth within the first 6 months due to flying beer bottles.
Should you become a stripper?
It’s tempting, and there are just as many pros as there are cons. Regardless of what you decide, you’re a strong, beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with respect and admiration. Your career choice does not define who you are, but at the end of the day (or night), always take pride in your hard work.